Adult Content – Seriously

Who decided that when you turn 18 you’re an “adult”? they are wrong.

Not how an adult acts.

Was there a meeting where someone was like, “Uh, yeah, I mean 18 is a pretty solid age to be on your own. Don’t let them drink legally, but everything else is cool.”

Then everyone else just agreed and that was that?

No one spoke up and said, “Ya know, I really think there should be more qualifications. Shouldn’t they be able to know how to do their taxes or start a 401k?”

Actual picture of what an adult is not.

Maybe there should be a test to become an adult instead of an age requirement. Like you have to know how to properly load a dishwasher, fold towels, shovel snow, change a tire, write a check, make dinner without calling your mom, do your own taxes, make your own doctors appointment, and like at least 10 other qualifications.

I’m pretty sure I would have failed it and then I wouldn’t be so stressed all the time because I would know that I’m not cut out to do adult things. I know many people who would approve of this method of determining adultness. 

Do not tell me we were supposed to learn these things in school because I absolutely never even heard of these things in school unless I was eaves dropping on a real adult.

My true feelings about adulthood.

For Christmas my mom got me a shirt that says “Adult-ish”, and I feel like that really describes every aspect of my life at this point.

Things that I’m not good at as an adult:

  1. Taxes – You can attempt to explain taxes to me all day, and at the end of that day I will proceed to thank The Good Lord Above that he blessed me with an accountant as a mom. Then I will send her all the information I think could be relevant to taxes and breath easier.
  2. Insurance – I understand none of it. On the phone getting car insurance when they give me options I say, “Well what do you think is best?” I don’t think that’s the right thing to do, but I literally have no idea. I just give all the power to this random person on the phone.
  3. Checking my mail – I constantly forget that something important could be in my mailbox. Sometimes the mailperson passive aggressively leaves my mailbox open or squishes everything in there. I like to think of it more as a friendly gesture that they cannot possibly fit anything else in there.
  4. Looking at my mail – To follow that, even once I check my mail it often just sits on the couch table until I have to look for something important that was supposedly sent to me a month ago. Then I aggressively open each piece of mail in search of this very important bill that was due. Side story: The first month our mortgage was due I completely forgot. I set up automatic payments for literally everything, so I just assumed the mortgage would come out. We happened to be traveling to Florida when I remembered that’s not how that works. I hurriedly called my roommate who was thankfully home and asked him to search the mail for our mortgage statement. Thankfully he found it and we were able to pay within the grace period, but goodness. What if we didn’t have a roommate? I didn’t even know who our mortgage was through to call or anything.
  5. Checking the weather/watching the news – This is a thing adults do, right? There could be a killer on the loose in my neighborhood, and unless my mom called me to tell me (which she would because she’s a real adult) I would happily sit on my deck while Leia plays in the yard and never be the wiser. Additionally, I am never dressed correctly for the weather. Yes, I know I can easily check that on my phone. That’s not the point. I never do. I literally look outside and then get dressed in hopes that it’s at least somewhat appropriate.
  6. Household chores – I touched on this in my other post, however, I am seriously terrible at it. I have a chores list on my refrigerator that I have never once followed, but I refuse to throw it away because I’m sure one day I will follow it (just laughed out loud at myself). I actually pay someone to clean my house, no shame. I started a load of laundry on Sunday and I just put it in the dryer. It smelled fine. Don’t you worry. I did do dishes like four times this week though, which is terribly impressive of me.
  7. Dealing with jerks – Girl, lemme tell you, I was not blessed with being able to keep my mouth shut. Random people on the street, okay, fine, but anyone I have any kind of relationship with is a no go. So last week I got fired for being a smart mouth. It’s true. I’m not proud, but I’m also not the least bit upset about it because my mama taught me to stick up for myself. This was a necessary part of my life, but no one prepared me for the emotion of loss it comes with. (Thankfully I have a therapist for that.)
  8. Saving money – Dad, do not lecture me when you see this! I’m serious. I still love you tho. We have savings; we really do. We do not have the savings account that we should have. We are the king and queen of buying things we think we need and eating out. It’s terrible. I know it’s terrible. I also have a nicely thought out budget hanging on my refrigerator that was followed for exactly one month. I need someone to come slap my hand every time I say I need something.
  9. Going to bed at a decent hour – Last night I stayed up until 2am watching videos on YouTube. I started with Miranda Sings and ended up watching videos about how transgender people came out to their significant others. It was super interesting, but not what I should be doing at 2am. Mostly because of this next thing, but also because I’m supposed to be on some kind of “sleep schedule”. Pssh.
  10. Waking up at a decent hour – I can’t with this one. I swear I’ve tried everything, but if you want me out of bed before noon you better be dragging me by the hair and yelling at me that the British are coming. I got one of those spiffy apps that “makes” you get up and take a picture of something, so I turned my phone off. I’ve tried putting my phone across the room, so I get up, turn it off, and go back to bed. I can’t do it, and you can’t make me.

 

See? DO YOU SEE THIS? I am such a bad adult y’all. I would never have passed an adult test. I call my mom for literally everything. If mom doesn’t know then the call carries over to dad, grandma, and my father-in-law. If none of them know then we are all screwed and there is no answer.

Pictured above is non-adults.

Until next time,

Life is my Comedy Show

Laughing into the New Year

It’s 2017! The start of a new year, the start of a new beginning for some, or just another year for others.

For me personally, I want to make this year great! I have big plans for my mental and physical health, I have big plans for my blog, and I have big plans for my future.

Starting next week I am going to be posting at least once a week.

Say what??

Yeah, I plan to kick this blog off this year.

I also plan to start eating healthy and making healthy choices. I am doing this for me. I want to love myself so much; I want to treat my body with more respect that I have been.

Recently I’ve been thinking so much about my future littles. I still have a few more years until I want to raise a child; however, when that time comes I want to be the best house for that little blessing. This makes me want to start now!

Let me be honest though, my intention was to start this January 2nd (the first I was making the drive from Florida to Maryland). I bought myself a planner, wrote my day in my planner, set my alarm for 8am, and I promptly turned this alarm off at 8am. I did not work out that day. I did not eat healthy that day. I don’t even know that I did anything productive that day.

I tried again the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Here we are on January 9th and I have yet to work out. I’ve eaten out every single day, and I have not done one thing that I wanted to accomplish.

I’m not going to let this stop me this time. I will continue to convince myself this is going to happen until it does.

One thing that has helped me so far is the fact that I got a planner and have really been writing down what I want to do with my days. Another thing that has helped me is watching vlogs by people who are committed to a healthy lifestyle and committed to loving their bodies.

I know I won’t accomplish all of these things in a day, but I am going to keep working towards this. I will continue to write about my progress in hopes that I will remember I am also accountable to you this year.

One more thing,

For Christmas my dad got me a Cricut, so I am also going to make time to be creative. I will be showing off my creations in different blog posts as well as offering some of them for sale.

I can’t wait to spend time on me for me.

Catch ya next week,
Life is my Comedy Show

Laughing with My Soulmate

We all know that great Sex and the City quote, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

11796227_10203299164360498_3486303863739942003_n

Well I certainly found my soulmate in a classmate at eight years old.

This girl has been my rock and my hard place. She has been through absolutely everything with me, and I couldn’t be more grateful for such a wonderful friendship. She also sometimes smells really funny and says really weird things, but I forgive her for that.

301799_2890129352951_11789245_n

Our story started around third grade. I don’t remember a lot of the details, mostly because I don’t remember life before I was blessed with the most wonderful friend in the world. I can tell you that from the beginning we were pretty inseparable. Our friendship hasn’t changed much since those elementary school days. We still stay up way too late, come up with bizarre ideas (that we usually follow through with), and laugh until our stomachs hurt and we are crying or peeing our pants.

295006_2800639235754_783213834_n

I can’t explain our friendship. I couldn’t tell you what we laugh about every second that we’re together. I can’t tell you why I know when something is wrong with her no matter how far away we are. We get weird looks and accused of being drunk pretty often, but really we’re just enjoying every second we get to spend together.

387972_3175403564628_1760459623_n

Life has taken us through so many different things, from crazy adventures in high school, to me moving to California, and there have certainly been a few bumps in our road. Somehow, we always come right back to each other no matter what happens.

14449988_10205607100177451_5303323881267339652_n

There is no other person that I think of when I see something hilarious on the Internet, and you best believe if you’ve posted something weird on Facebook we have screenshot it, sent it, and made fun of you.

246419_3006029010370_1542159120_n

She’s my best friend. She’s my person. She gets me on a level that I didn’t know existed. We’re weird and fun and crazy.

Happiest of birthdays to my lifelong friend. My life wouldn’t be the same without you.

Don’t expect me to say anything nice about you for at least another year.

 

Until next time,

Life is my comedy show

My Born in Side-Kick

 

10505621_10201330090974894_6430887121889011962_n

I was blessed enough to receive a born-in sidekick. At four years old I did not count it as a blessing at all.

I wanted a little sister. I wanted someone I could dress up and play dolls with, but mostly someone to boss around.

I got this, but in the form of a 10 pound little brother.

This is was not what I had planned.

Before he was born I got to use his bookshelf as a two-story Barbie house, I didn’t have a lot of rules about when I had to be quiet, and I got all of the attention all of the time before this little creature came along.

That year for Christmas my Papa built me an awesome two-story Barbie house complete with furniture, so that sort of made up for the whole bookshelf thing.

1454748_10200257866569954_966707202_n
I’m not even sure we know what’s going on here.

 

Through the years I really learned to appreciate this kid though. Sure we fought, I often made him scream on purpose, I really enjoyed pulling his hair, and it drove me insane when he made weird noises, but at some point all of this grew on me.

Now this kid is one of my very best friends.

If you’ve been around me for any time at all you have heard me brag on him about what and amazing young man God has made him.

10882315_10202154088374314_5899044853215196556_n
Notice that everyone else seems very confused.

 

He makes straight A’s, he accomplishes anything he puts his mind to, he is a friend to everyone, he is quite handsome, he’s a hard worker, he’s very honest about everything, he’s absolutely hilarious, and he has a super cool sister.

He continues to astonish me with his kind heart and wisdom that can’t have come from anywhere but the blessing of God.

11149351_10202706679668751_2256187355873616735_n

We know how to have the most amount of fun, we know how to laugh the hardest (usually no one else even knows why we’re laughing, including mom), and we know to be there for each other through everything.

20282_10203276193826249_5699497289772960409_n

This wonderful blessing turns 17 today. I almost can’t believe it.

I love you kid. Keep your head up and continue standing up for what you believe in.

Until next time,

Life is my Comedy Show

The Woman, The Momager

She’s not really my momager, yet. When I’m famous she will be though.

10448187_10201344178007061_4664814669356599505_n
In our natural state of laughter.

This is the lady who blessed this world with yours truly. This is the lady who put up with every shenanigan I got into as a child and teenager. This is the lady I talk to every single day for at least an hour, and I could never explain to you what we talk about.

The cool thing about my mom is that as an adult she is now my very best friend. Any time anything happens, from buying a pair of pants at the thrift store for $2 to making huge life decisions, this lady is my first call.

10371606_10203921687123178_4102715468416184282_n

There is never a dull moment when the two of us are around. We very often laugh until we cry. We share a wonderful sense of humor and bond that I believe only mother and child can share.

Remember when I had to learn how to laugh? This lady was a huge help in that. Whenever I felt down she would crank up the Coyote Ugly soundtrack, Kelly Clarkson, or SheDaisy and we would sing at the top of our lungs until I forgot what was wrong.

mommy

This beautiful human being also taught me about faith, love, and understanding. She showed me how to be strong by tackling life’s obstacles head on.

I’m really glad she’s gotten smarter, because when I was younger she truly knew nothing. She was always trying to give me advice, that I never listened to, or share her experiences, that I think she probably made up. As I’ve gotten older she’s gotten a million times smarter. I think she finally knows what’s she’s talk about nowadays.

10553466_10203911944559620_8629389335425713648_n

I love you mommybear. ❤❤

To all the wonderful mom’s out there, keep it up. One day I will know how hard it is.

Until next time,

Life is my Comedy Show

I Hate Shaving My Legs

Why in the world are cultural norms a thing? I seriously do not understand at all. If I don’t feel like shaving my legs I should still feel comfortable wearing shorts. If my toes aren’t painted then I should still feel comfortable wearing flip-flops.

It is appropriate to wear capri's without shaving, right?
It is appropriate to wear capri’s without shaving, right?

I don’t, and I hate it. Probably more than I hate shaving my legs and painting my nails combined.

Oh my gosh, does that mean I’m not a girl?!

No, not at all. If someone says they enjoy shaving then they have never actually shaved.

Hair is natural. I don’t care if you shave, so stop caring if I do.

I do love to wear makeup. I absolutely love sculpting my face to how I want it to look. I think males should be able to do that without judgment too though. If you want your highlight on fleek then ROCK IT.

12074651_10203657653602505_5673953820740008167_n

I don’t think I’ll ever understand cultural norms…

Who decided I had to shave my legs, but my co-star has to shave his face?

Who decided I get to put on makeup and look fancy, but my brother can’t fix his face up?

Why can I not have a friend who is a male without someone somewhere assuming I am doing something terribly wrong?

Honestly if anyone can give me a good solid reason for all of these things I promise to shave my legs every other day, to keep my toenails painted, and to never have a male friend again.

I guess what I’m really getting at is just do what makes you happy. Seriously. If wearing a dress makes you happy then you go out and find that perfect dress and flaunt it!

All natural. :)
All natural, except for the clothes.

Guess what makes me happy? Having to do the least amount of work possible unless I want to.

I don’t think life is meant to be anything less than amazing.

Until next time,

Life is my Comedy Show

My Co-star

IMG_1276.jpg

We chose each other to laugh with forever. That’s a really big deal.

Our sense of humor matches on most levels. We understand each other, and we laugh hard and often. The only fall back is that I’m much funnier than my handsome co-star gives me credit for. I mean, seriously, I am hilarious.

12718109_10204477422576217_671072476979772785_n.jpg
See how funny he thinks I am?

We met at our first job, a very glamorous grocery store job. I told a customer “The orange juice is that way!” and as the customer walked away this adorable blue eyed coworker of mine quietly says, “Actually, the orange juice is that way (the opposite direction), but I’m sure they will figure it out.” In that moment I knew would live happily ever after with him.

Just kidding!

I knew that he was one of the cutest boys I had ever laid eyes on, and I knew that I wanted to be his. Forever was not on my mind at 16. In fact, forever was not on my mind for a long while. I don’t know if I really grasped the concept of forever until things started getting very serious with this man. That was completely terrifying to me. Is forever even real? Do people actually stay together for that long? I’ve seen it with my grandparents, but that’s about it. I knew I loved him very much, but could we love each other forever? Could we always laugh as hard as we did in the beginning?

starwars.jpg

Obviously it hasn’t been forever yet, and I do not know what the future holds. I do know that with every single passing second I am so grateful to have such a wonderful, handsome, and caring co-star in my life. We don’t always laugh as hard as we did in the beginning because usually we’re laughing much harder. We get each other in a way I didn’t know existed.

matching pjs.jpg
Sometimes we match to be extra cute.

Of course sometimes we fight. We are both very passionate in our beliefs, and they don’t always match. But our disagreements are usually silent until we can gather our thoughts enough to explain our sides.

I am the emotion. I immediately react with whatever emotion comes to me.

He is the logic. Everything has a rhyme and reason as to why he feels the way he does.

This is what makes us so perfect.

I could tell you a million stories, and I will as time progresses. If you ever meet my co-star you may not believe most of these stories, but when you become a part of our regular life you’ll quickly believe every word.

snow bunnies.jpg
Our very first snow together.

Until next time,

Life is my comedy show

Laughing with Leia

I have a chocolate lab. We bought (yes, bought, not adopted; the horror, I know) little Miss Leia in October of 2015. She was about 10 weeks old at the time.

leia
She looks so innocent, doesn’t she?

Since we’ve had her there have been many days where I didn’t know where our entertainment came before her. There are also many days where I’m sure getting a puppy was the biggest mistake we ever made, and I’m just glad we decided on a puppy instead of a baby. Leia is not just any puppy, she is a puppy with separation anxiety that hates loud noises and has endless amounts of energy. Did I mention we live in an apartment? I realize we aren’t the only ones, who have ever had a lab puppy in an apartment, what I don’t realize is how anyone actually survives this way without being admitted.

snow covered rock
There was no convincing her that this “rock” was going to melt.

Leia loves rocks. My house looks like a rock museum. She brings in a rock from outside every single time she goes potty. This is not an exaggeration. We have started throwing the rocks off the balcony, so now we have our own rock garden at the bottom of our balcony. Leia also has an endless amount of toys of which she likes/has not completely destroyed about five of them. Leia is not allowed to have rope toys, toys made of cloth, or a bed in her crate.

12308417_10203777812406400_361542371532707112_n
Meet Pink Flamingo

You know how stores have those super cute Christmas toys in December? Stores have the toys with the little hats and scarves for puppies? They are adorable. Leia had a big long (about 3ft) pink flamingo. Pink flamingo had a cute little hat and a long red scarf. Long red scarves are not something you tend to worry about until you have to help your puppy remove it from their bottom. Leias’ favorite place to use the bathroom is on the grass right outside of the front office of our complex. One beautiful yet cold afternoon Leia was really struggling to release her bowels. My eye caught some red dangling from her bottom. Of course I was worried at first, as anyone would be seeing red coming out of the bottom of another creature. I soon realized that this was not blood or her intestines, this was Pink Flamingos scarf. Poor pink flamingo must have been cold. With my neighbors circling the roundabout and the wonderful people who run our complex undoubtedly watching the comedy show that is my life, I grab a poop bag and proceed to pull no less than a one and a half foot scarf from Leias’ behind for all of Windsor to see.

She just found a blender ball…

Until next time,

Life is my comedy show